The Road Map to Collaborative Divorce

The setting in which Family Law attorneys work is often not a courtroom, but a complicated landscape of their clients’ needs and emotions. Because many of these emotions are difficult to experience, it is natural that a divorcing couple might want the process to conclude quickly. But moving forward too quickly without sufficient understanding of each party’s true needs and goals risks the integrity of the final product. To ensure a settlement agreement has the durability to last and keep both sides satisfied in the long term, many collaborative professionals use a roadmap that helps to illustrate for their clients the stages of the collaborative law process. This roadmap helps to slow down the tendency to prematurely rush ahead toward solutions that may have little connection to actual interests and goals by helping the parties to see where they’re going in the process and also how far they’ve come.

A TYPICAL COLLABORATIVE ROADMAP IS COMPOSED OF THE FOLLOWING STEPS:

• Setting the Framework: This initial phase of the process involves explaining to both parties how the collaborative process works and describing each person’s roles and responsibilities.The clients will discuss why they have chosen to work collaboratively and what their goals are for the process. We also “assemble the team,” deciding which other professionals will be necessary to help see us through the various issues in the divorce. How can a child specialist or a divorce coach assist in this process? What issues may be more easily resolved by working with a neutral financial professional?
• Gathering Information: Here we identify the potential conflicts that need to be resolved and gather the facts and information about those issues that will help settle them. Different members of the team in place may now be called on to assist. For example, if the divorcing couple has children, at this stage the coaches and child specialist will gather information about the emotional and personal relationships between the couple and their children. We’ll want to know whether there are any special needs of the children or emotional issues that must be addressed. The financial professional will start gathering information about the parties’ assets, debts and income and the attorneys and clients may have an open discussion about the law at this stage as well.
• Developing a Shared Understanding: This is where we define the interests of the parties. We take a look behind the stated positions of each side to examine not what the parties claim to want, but why they need it. When one spouse insists he or she needs to “keep the house” we look to see what the reasoning behind the request is. Is the real issue that one of the parties needs to stay in this particular home because the carrying charges are low? Or is it because the grandparents live nearby and help out with the child care? The goal here is to get away from blanket positional statements and look at the underlying reasons for those positions.
• Generating and Evaluating Options: By this stage, we are looking to find an actual solution that works for both parties by looking at the available options. Each party will consider and evaluate the options to see whether they satisfy each of their main interests. We can also test out possible solutions. For example, if we’re dealing with an issue that is financially related, the financial professional will “run the numbers” and do a side-by-side comparison of the different options under consideration. We can pose the question, “what amount of cash will each party have left after taxes over the next 20 years if we divide the assets this way as opposed to that?” This approach allows each spouse to see what choices are preferable in the long term and make decisions based upon this information.
• Reaching Agreement: When each party is satisfied that its concerns have been addressed and feels secure about the compromises made, it is time to actually draft and sign an agreement. As you can see, by the time we get to this last step, each party has had many opportunities to have his or her voice heard and interests addressed.

An agreement reached by following the collaborative roadmap means more than just the paper it is printed on – it is significant because it was the product of both parties making decisions with all necessary information before them, listening to each other and cooperating with one another. This not only makes the divorce process a lot less unpleasant than an adversarial action in court but can also provide the parties with a method to solve problems together in the future.

Vacca Family Law Group
60 E 42nd St #700 New York, NY 10165 avacca@vaccalaw.com