Why You Should Consider Negotiating Your Divorce Out of Court—Even with an “Ironclad” Prenup

One of the goals of a prenuptial agreement is to give you a sense of security if your marriage ends in divorce. But what happens when life doesn’t unfold exactly the way you expected? Whether the terms of the prenup benefit you greatly or provide you with less than you may have been entitled otherwise, you may believe it is “ironclad” and there is no room to negotiate different terms in your divorce. We want you to know that is not always the case.

Your Prenup May Not Be Ironclad

While prenups are generally enforceable in New York, there are situations where a court can set aside parts or all of the agreement. If one spouse can prove they signed under duress, did not have full financial disclosure, or that the terms are unconscionable, a judge may refuse to enforce some or all of the prenup.

For example, if a spouse waived all support in their prenup, now faces financial hardship during their divorce, and perhaps gave up a career to support the family, the court may find that the spousal support or alimony terms of the agreement are unfair. Even if the prenup is ultimately upheld, the process of litigating the validity of those terms can be time-consuming, stressful, and very expensive.

Litigating a prenup dispute in court can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Each side may need to hire financial experts, forensic accountants, and legal specialists to argue their case. In the end, there is no guaranteed outcome.

Private negotiations can allow for more creative solutions than a court could provide. Instead of paying litigation fees, you could use that money to provide similar homes for each parent, help pay education costs or find other ways to provide each party with financial security without abandoning the original terms of the prenup.

Even if the Agreement is Fully Enforceable, Negotiating New Terms May Be Best

Let’s consider a situation where both parties were working and earning similar incomes at the time of the marriage and they both thought it would be reasonable that they would keep their earnings separate and only assets held in joint name during the marriage would be divided in the event of a divorce. But now, at the time of divorce, one spouse has been out of the workforce because they have been a stay-at-home parent for the past few years. If the prenup terms are strictly followed, one party will walk away with substantially more assets than the other and this could lead to much resentment and anger because of the financial insecurity one party will be facing.

Protecting Your Co-Parenting Relationship

If you share children, preserving a working relationship with your co-parent is important. Enforcing a harsh prenup through the courts can create resentment and lasting conflict. Those feelings can make it difficult to communicate effectively, which can affect your children’s emotional well-being.

By negotiating outside of court, you and your spouse have the opportunity to address concerns directly and find solutions that support both households. This collaborative approach will ease tensions and foster a healthier co-parenting relationship.

The Terms of Your Divorce Aren’t Set in Stone—Even with a Prenup

Even with a well-drafted prenup, resolving your divorce outside of court often leads to more thoughtful, balanced outcomes. Negotiation gives you more flexibility, greater control, and the opportunity to prioritize what truly matters to your family—without the emotional strain of litigation.

If you’re unsure what your prenuptial agreement means for your divorce or whether it’s still aligned with your family’s needs, we can help. At Vacca Family Law Group, we don’t just review legal documents, we consider the people behind them. We’ll help you explore the full picture, identify opportunities for constructive resolution, and support you in making decisions that reflect both your values and your vision for the future. Contact us today for your free introductory call.

Vacca Family Law Group is located at One Grand Central Place, 60 E. 42nd St., Suite 700, New York, NY 10165.