My Marriage is Over. What Do I Need to Do Now?

By Andrea Vacca
My Marriage is Over. What Do I Need to Do Now?

If you realize your marriage is over, but you have no idea what to do next, know that you are not alone in facing this challenging situation. This is, undoubtedly, one of the most difficult parts of the process to navigate, but taking the right steps can make the process smoother. We’ve created a checklist of sorts to help you organize your next steps when you’ve reached this pivotal moment:

1. Understand Your Financial Situation

  • The first pivotal step in a divorce is to gain a clear understanding of your financial situation.
  • You’ll not only want to identify the family’s assets, liabilities, income, and expenses but also the types of life, disability, and health insurance coverage that you have.
  • Seek professional assistance from a financial advisor or a certified divorce financial analyst, to navigate this complex terrain.

2. Contact an Attorney to Discuss the Divorce Process

  • An experienced family law attorney will help you consider and explore the different divorce processes available. including mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigation.
  • Make an informed choice on the divorce process that aligns with your unique circumstances and goals.
  • Consider your emotional state, including the level of trust with your spouse, and the complexity of the issues when making this decision.
  • Once you choose a process you like, be prepared to be flexible due to changing circumstances or the wishes of your soon-to-be ex. 

3. Have the Divorce Conversation with Your Spouse

  • Prior to expressing your desire for a divorce, carefully plan and prepare talking points that explain why you want the divorce and the specific process that you believe will best suit the two of you. 
  • When telling your spouse about the decision, approach the conversation with empathy and focus on shared concerns, fostering a safe and productive exchange of information. 
  • Provide resources such as blogs or e-books to educate your spouse on collaborative divorce or the mediation process, helping them understand the divorce options available.
  • If necessary, involve your couple’s therapist or attorney to help you make the announcement in a productive way that encourages your spouse to understand and engage in the divorce process you believe is best.

4. How to Tell Your Children and Family

  • Crafting a narrative for your children requires careful consideration and planning.
  • Tell the children together. They should not learn about plans to divorce from just one parent. 
  • Work with a therapist experienced in handling such situations to develop a story that is age-appropriate and reassuring.

Related: 7 Tips for Putting Children First in a Divorce

5. Consider Pre-Divorce Legal Guidance Services

  • Pre-divorce guidance is the process of working with an attorney to prepare for your divorce and get the legal and practical advice you need to move forward.
  • An attorney can help you understand how the process works, what issues will need to be addressed, and what options may be available.
  • By working with you to better understand your current situation and considering your objectives, your attorney can provide important information and services to help you be as prepared as possible to move forward with your divorce.
  • Pre-divorce guidance may be a wise choice if you’re having trouble deciding whether to pursue divorce or you’re seriously considering separating from your spouse.

Related: [PODCAST] How You Start Your Divorce Matters with Susan Pease Gadoua

Ending a marriage is undoubtedly a challenging process, but by understanding the financial landscape, choosing the right attorney and divorce process, and approaching conversations with empathy, you can navigate this difficult time with greater clarity and confidence. Seeking professional assistance and support throughout the divorce journey is crucial, as it provides valuable guidance and expertise as you embark on this next chapter of your life.

Contact Vacca Family Law Group

We understand the unique challenges associated with the early stages of a divorce. Our attorneys can offer tailored advice to help you make informed decisions. Call us at 212-768-1115 or contact us online to schedule a consultation. 

Vacca Family Law Group is located at One Grand Central Place, 60 E. 42nd St. #700, New York, NY 10165.