How to Let Go of Resentment in Your Divorce

By Andrea Vacca

Feeling resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Are you going through divorce and feeling resentment toward your spouse or your situation?

WATCH: How to Let Go of Resentment in Your Divorce by Family Law Attorney Andrea Vacca

Feeling resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. A collaborative lawyer or mediator can help you focus on the present, not on the past, and help you focus on where you want to be. Contact Andrea Vacca at Vacca Family Law Group.

Follow Andrea Vacca on YouTube for more videos on how to end your marriages without destroying your family.

Learn More About Letting Go In Divorce: 

Transcript

I’m Andrea Vacca from Vacca Family Law Group. Today I want to talk about resentment in your divorce. You may have heard the saying “feeling resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.”That’s not going to happen. You’re the only one who is going to be affected if you’re feeling resentment towards your spouse or your situation when you’re going through a divorce. As an attorney and mediator who wants to help clients get through the divorce with as little animosity and adversity as possible, I try to help my clients tone down the resentment and focus on what they want – not what they’re angry about. 

Those toxic feelings that are natural to come up during divorce are going to be there, but we’re in control and you can be in control. Some of the ways you can do that are: 

1. Focus on the Present, Not Focus on the Past
Don’t focus on what your spouse did to you or what he didn’t, or what she never did. You have to only focus on where you are now and where you want to go – what does the future look like for you? Where do you want to be at the end of this marriage? Let’s focus on where you can get yourself to instead of where you’re coming from because that’s the past. We want to get you to a better future.

Your divorce is going to be like your marriage. All the bad things are going to happen and your spouse is going to act the same way he did in your marriage and your divorce that he did in your marriage. So the only thing you can control is your reaction to it.

2. Find a Collaborative Lawyer or Mediator
Find a collaborative lawyer or mediator. An attorney that’s not going to inflame those feelings. It’s going to help you focus on where you want to be, and it’s going to help you put things in perspective.

3. Focus on Where You Want to Be
If you can do that, then you can focus on the money, on your kids on yourself and not about why you’re leaving your marriage.


Let Andrea Vacca and Vacca Family Law Group help you tone down that resentment.