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Divorce
Putting Compassion At The Center Of Divorce
Even when spouses are trying to have a non-adversarial divorce, the emotions that arise can hijack innocent intentions and get in the way of achieving the bigger goals such as the children’s well being, future financial security for one another and children, and an outcome that feels fair. Resentment, regret, anger and sadness about the…
Read MoreCAUTION: Don’t Text While Divorcing
I was recently sitting at my desk when I received a text message from a phone number I didn’t recognize. In rapid succession I received the following missives: This person, who was obviously in distress around a family law matter and possibly even dealing with domestic violence, was exhibiting a habit I see often with…
Read MoreWill Your Divorce Be a War Story or a Peace Story?
As I picked up The New York State Bar Association Journal earlier in the month, the cover story intrigued me. It was called “More War Stories from the New York Courts.” It was about civil litigation cases that go on for years. The article didn’t discuss divorce, but that’s certainly what was on my mind as I…
Read MoreSometimes the Solution Is Right in Front of You
I recently decided it was time to give my website a makeover. My website designer and I decided that blue would be a primary color in the design and she asked me to send her shades of blue that appealed to me. I typed “blue” into my browser and went to work looking through Google…
Read MoreThe Choice Is Yours
Sometimes people in the middle of divorce litigation realize that the court system just isn’t working for them. Time is going by, the costs are piling up, and they seem further from resolution than ever. At this point, it may be time for them to look at an alternative process, such as mediation, but where…
Read MoreNobody Is Perfect, Especially in the Middle of Divorce
Divorce is one of the most difficult life experiences that anyone can go through. And while the clients who I work with are all committed to having the least adversarial divorce possible, it’s not always easy for them to find it in themselves to forgive their spouse for mistakes, treat them with compassion and respect and…
Read MoreThe Important Role of Divorce Coaches
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”– Maria Robinson As true as this quote may be, it’s not easy to think about re-writing your future when you’re in the process of divorcing. You want to put your marriage behind you, but removing yourself from…
Read MoreThe Unofficial, Long-Term Marital Separation
Something I have been seeing more and more in my practice as a mediator and collaborative attorney are couples living apart for long periods of time, without being legally separated. For various reasons, many married couples decide to separate for years without having any legal agreements in place. They don’t realize until years later when one of them is…
Read MoreMaintaining Control in the Midst of Divorce
The feeling of or ability to be in control can be an elusive concept to many, and the lack of control can be a source of anxiety to those who crave it. When it comes to personal matters, like divorce, the need for control may be even greater. The feeling like one is not in…
Read MoreWho Supports the Boomerang Kids After a Divorce?
Working outside of the court system allows divorcing parents of the boomerang generation to consider, discuss and plan for when their adult children return home. In the New York Times Magazine, there was recently an article about the boomerang generation. Kids are coming out of college and moving back home with their parents, perhaps after unsuccessfully trying…
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